A Wanted Man

Have you ever noticed those items at Goodwill, the ones with a redundancy of sadness about them, the ones that never leave the store, the ones with their own phylum of being unwanted?

They always catch my eye. Sometimes I’m even temped to pick one up. But that seems to mock their condition even more.

Living in the abstract. Existing in the scatter. Getting by on a handful of attention in a glove of oblivion.

The little corners of this world where something is always stashed, and mostly forgotten. I’ve found socks this way. And memories.

And I’ve noticed that people won’t go anywhere these days unless there’s a sign. So much better for the rest of us who like to ramble over hill and dale and picnic by a river.

Who needs signs when every stone, tree, and flower has a story to tell? I still navigate by instinct and the inner compass, sealed in silver and easily flicked open with the fingers of the unconscious.

Nothing happens. Well, it does, but it’s all above the feelings of boredom and activity then something like magic sets in and the world spins in haywire. Suddenly things that haven’t worked, work; plans made come to fruition; the waiting is over and you get that email. And now the whole world bears down on you with velvet and the weight of responsibility and you wonder, does the tortoise crawl back into his shell because he’s scared or because there’s more to see on the inside than on the outside?

The waiting game. It’s like playing your cards on the table and then realizing there’s no table so you have to hold on. I dream of aces. Mostly I get clubs batting about my heart.

And the more you wait, the longer it goes. I wonder what that time was like for ancient man when he sat around waiting for fire. How long did he wait? And did fire come in a dream or did it come by accident?

We aren’t supposed to wait in this day and age. There’s no room for contemplation or patience or you’ll end up like a hermit in the woods of Maine.

Here’s a Liverpool band from the 80s, the Wild Swans, a sadly underrated band. This is their song “Bible Dreams” from Bringing Home the Ashes, an amazing album.

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