Fighting For My Right To Parley

Is it possible to be stupid and eloquent at the same time in mixed company?

Sometimes I feel like I’m becoming stupid and lazy and better at being productive.

I’m not a very good father at times. I tend to avoid. And I can’t delegate. I always want to side. And then I feel like the bad child. And need comfort.

I’m a good listener. But only after I’ve said what I want to say.

Other people drive me mad. I hope I drive them mad, too.

I’m not good at bullshitting. I like truth. But only if it’s what I want to hear. If it’s not, I will tell you.

Sometimes I write people I don’t like into my fiction and then kill them off. It saves a lot of lawyer fees.

Why do others think they can direct your life? Is it because they have no lives of their own?

I will not compromise. Except if I really can.

If you boss me about, I will put on imaginary boxing gloves. And, trust me, you don’t want to see yourself ringside.

If I laugh at your joke, it’s because it’s funny or I’m hiding my ignorance. It’s never about how amusing you are.

Writers should not work in the same office. It causes melodrama.

Dogs are overrated. Cats are overrated. They piss and shit a lot. And then we have to clean it up. How can we claim to be the superior species?

Creationists are like banana peels: they are always slipping on the same lie over and over again.

What’s wrong with being delusional? Christ was. And look how many people believe in him.

I don’t like money. But it seems to like me.

I never read bad books. Unless I write them.

Some people will say they like you and then hide you on their Facebook page.

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