Up the Junction

Jesus, that oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is a disaster. I mean really. The biggest oil spill in American history I keep getting told by each and every news broadcast.

Why doesn’t someone, preferably gorgeous, with big tits, and a gleaming smile of perfect teeth, stand up on a pair of fancy high heels and say, “Listen, when it comes to oil, we’ve like, you know, sucked the rich cream milkshake down so that now we’re only making those sucking sounds.”

You know what we need to do for alternative energy? Dead bodies. Instead of leaving your body to science, it should become legislative law that you have to leave your body for a safer, greener energy.

I mean, come on, couldn’t we engineer engines to run off our bodily fluids and heat our homes with all the energy that is stored in our bodies?

Isn’t there a huge amount of energy stored in a single cell in our body? Surely scientists could find ways to harness the energy out of a dead body.

And there should be no moral qualms because everyone involved would be dead.

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