The record of a splendid exploit

Sometimes I can’t get over that I actually witnessed Lady Godiva ride through Coventry.

Afterwards Thorold of Bucknall and I went back to drawing doodles in the Domesday Book. We were unhappy since there was one swine who had escaped our survey.

He was a wily pig. He constantly outwitted our pursuit, but we needed him to complete the survey. It was unfinished without him.

To begin with he sailed the ocean blue in 1492. On arriving in the New World he traded with the Indians who discovered that you can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.

Hot on his trail, he rode from town to town railing, “The British are coming!”

Then he found passage to Ireland and ate all the spuds, causing a terrible famine. From there he ended up on a slave ship bound for Liverpool.

He once more gave us the slip by catching passage to the South and hid himself by picking cotton on a plantation. And he got cleverer as he got older, booking passage on the first transatlantic flight with Lindbergh. I even heard that Charles almost called his aircraft the Spirit of St. Swine.

From there it was a quick trot to Sarajevo for the assassination of the Archduke.

He might have continued to elude us if it wasn’t for the Mustard Gas. It got him on Jan 1, nineteen hundred and eighteen. He was found dressed and with an apple in his mouth. The Tommies he’d gotten to know were very sad to see him go. But they’d eaten stiff horse for the last three days and pig was so much better.


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