Can I interest you in a couple of used black-and-white TVs? One’s very farouche and is only interested in nature programs and the occasional historical documentary. The other’s a bit more obstreperous. Likes nudity, thrillers, survival games in large council blocks and boyfriends with lots of pizza sauce on their moustaches.
They’ve been around the block a bit, especially on street corners. Circa 1960s. One’s even had its license revoked. The other’s mum is sick with a bad case of the reruns. But they’re very obliging when it comes to touching. Both like to be fondled, actually.
And they both come fully serviced. I’ll even throw in the doctor’s bill of health — as well as a program of the upcoming specials. One’s very good in the bedroom. The other’s got experience in the kitchen. They’ll keep you entertained well into the wee hours. You can even turn their sound down if you think they’ll wake the wife.